If you live with purpose your life becomes worth living.

The feeling of self-actualization is having a desire to be the person you were truly born to be for this world. You fall out of this state when you go into a survival state trying to achieve a lower basic need. Achieving and exceeding these basic needs is how we create maturity. As Fritz Pearls was quoted “maturity is the ability to deal with frustrated desire alone” that statement is the summary of this climb through basic needs. If each of these basic needs is not acquired on our own we do not mature. We must collect all the knowledge and learning on our own; they cannot be taught but only learned through experiencing them.

Self-actualization/maturity can be hindered by parents who over indulge children, or people born with innate gifts such as talent or beauty. To gain this learning in our adulthood we must earn each level of our basic needs on our own. This may mean that someone should hold back, ignore, create challenge or provide support, love and inspiration. Your adult relationships now are playing the role of the parent you needed from the start. Take the gift rather than feeling disrespected or mishandled.

There is a story that sums up this point. The kindergarten children were sent home with a letter from school. In order to proceed to first grade their parents were required to insure certain skill sets of their child. The letter stated each child should be able to tie their own shoes, spell their name, recite the alphabet and count to 100. It seemed like an easy task...sing the ABC’s in the car while driving, count the street lights on the road to grandma’s house, and sign their own name on each Christmas card etc. However, the tying of shoes meant wait- ing... waiting to get to school, waiting to go to the store,

waiting and being late for work. So mom scooped up child and just tied the shoes when frustration of learning took too long or inspired a tear. The following year as each child put on their play shoes for recess the child who did not have the opportunity to suffer frustrated desire instead; suffered embarrassment, time loss, or confusion and discovered strategies to avoid the embarrassment. Are you ready to learn and get out of your embarrassment?

Heather McFall, owner of Lake Hypnosis, has helped thousands of clients find their self esteem to go onto living their best lives with confidence instead of fear and defensiveness. If you want more information call her directly at 352-223-9444 or see her online at www.lakehypnosis.com